Emotion……Energy….In motion

ImageDo you know where your heart is?  Do you know what’s in it?  I mean, not in a medical way but an energetic way.  All logic has told us that our five senses cannot manfully explain or represent the existence of our soul, our heart, our energy.

Our five senses belong to the higher order of logic and understanding, therefore we need to pay close attention to feelings.  Because of this we have delegated the heart as the sensor to external energy and emotion.  Somewhere along the line we decided that feelings were nothing more than unnecessary add ons  that were capable of creating pain and dysfunction.  With this idea, most people tend to repress their emotions in fear of pain.

I was just over on Lost Daughters blogspot where a discussion about parenting was taking place and how adoption has affected our individual parenting styles.  As adoptees we come from a place of primal pain, primal wound.  A place so deep and dark many of us don’t even recognize that it’s there buried in the rubble of our fractured hearts.  It usually isn’t until we decide to search for our roots that we begin to peel back the layers and discover the buried trauma, the buried coping skills we have utilized to protect and save us from an unfriendly world.

When we close the door to our feelings we also close the door to the vital currents that energize and activate our thoughts and actions.  We can’t begin the process of understanding the effects of our emotions upon us, our environment and other people.  Without awareness of our emotions we cannot associate the effects of anger, sadness, grief or joy within ourselves or others…with their causes.

 There is no distinguishing between which part is personality and that part of us that is soul or heart.  Without awareness of our feelings we cannot experience compassion.  How can we share the sufferings and the joys of others if we cannot experience our own?

Everyone, not just adoptees needs to become intimate with their emotions.  Emotion is energy.  Becoming aware of this energy is the first step of learning how our experiences come into being and why.  For myself, with my multiple layers of trauma to peel back, it’s taken a lifetime of exposing, and expressing the layers as they became available and I’m not done yet.

Emotion reflects Intention.  If you are aware of your emotion then you become aware of your intention.  Sounds simple enough doesn’t it?  Not quite.  If you see a discrepancy between a conscious intention and the emotion that accompanies it you may see a part of yourself that requires healing.  For example, when I met my Birth Mother I wanted it to be a happy, joyful occasion but in fact, I was terrified and filled with such sadness it was unbearable.  Obviously, there was a great discrepancy.  I discovered a place of grief and loss i could barely stand it.

It’s all about understanding energy and how our emotions run on frequency spectrums.  As you work through your layers of emotion you begin to see that you can step away objectively and actually control your feelings.  Being aware brings you to a way of living in peace,  A place of being where when you are open to your emotions, to your place of pain. it will then bring you closer to your heart.  Being aware leads to an open heart.

Do you know what triggers your emotions?  Do you know how they impact every single aspect of your daily life?  Do you have any idea of the power of thought?

 Since being diagnosed with mast cell disease and really paying attention to my emotion and my energy, it has become so clear how the two are intertwined.  Each trauma I experienced early in life, from surgery to rapes, upped the ante and my disease progressed as if it were climbing stairsteps to the ultimate top where reunion sent it over the edge into the abyss of mast cell hell.  I can pinpoint each and every step.  Needless to say, I’m very careful with my self talk now and my energy.

If you have 70,000 thoughts a day, can you imagine if you thought negatively for 60,000 of those, the damage it would do to your body, life, relationships.  We are energy, our thoughts are energy and affect every cell either in a positive or negative way.

There are no shortcuts.  Life mastery stems from emotional mastery which comes from digging thru the layers and discovering what you are really made of.  Only then can you say you have achieved self mastery and an open heart.

It’s not an easy place to go… This deep cavern of emotion.  Once you get through one layer and know you survived, you begin to notice a feeling of lightness and exhilaration.  It requires perseverance but is something that will transform every aspect of your life.  Find those core beliefs, the ones we have lived with most of our life without awareness.  Dig them up and take a good look.  Ask yourself what purpose they fulfil  in your life and if they are really true, then get rid of them and live a compassionate life with your heart wide open.

I put that saying at the top because some of the most beautiful people I have met in my life have been through the most horrific experiences and yet they were just that…beautiful souls.

 As a nurse, many times I have had with the privilege to sit with and hold hands with, souls that are in the death process, children included.  The most amazing stories have been told and emotions shared, truths spoken….such beautiful souls.

 The stories on the streets you hear will break your heart and yet they look at you with kindness in their eyes and hide hearts of gold….such beautiful souls.

 In Northern Lao, when I visited the hill tribes who lived with nothing and yet were always smiling and willing to share whatever they had….such beautiful souls.

It is here adoption comes in and the many people I have come to know and love.  Our journeys shared and emotions bared….all with open hearts and a compassion so profound wrapped in such strength …..such beautiful souls.

It is here with fellow mast cell disease sufferers  I discovered such strength and heart  with endless compassion for another’s suffering despite dealing daily with such emotional and physical pain. themselves…..such beautiful souls.

They live among us.  Take time to get to know them,  to listen to them and learn from them.  They live with hearts wide open…..beautiful souls

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3 thoughts on “Emotion……Energy….In motion

  1. My eldest son was 14 and we had just had a loud argument. It 32 below freezing he’d just come out of the shower and was going out with wet hair and no hat…I freaked at him. He still left… Afterwards I was asking myself why did I get so upset…(not something that happened often) I realized then that my anger was actually fear…I was afraid that he would get sick, and that then the other 1 brother would get sick and I being a single parent would be the one who had to care for each of them…and when I caught it too there would be no one to take care of Me.
    The upshot of this was the awareness that the next time I felt angry I managed to insert a pause and ask myself was I really angry or was I afraid. And when I’m afraid I need to respond in a much gentler way as that in my inner child acting out. This realization changed forever my relationship with my children and ended most arguements.

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